When It Doesn't Come Easy
August 22, 2022

When It Doesn't Come Easy

 This is the best painting I’ve made all year. 

Let me tell you, I realize I make painting look easy. And that’s part of the job— to make it look effortless. But real creating take a lot of time— mentally mostly. Paintings live in my head for weeks, months. I try to work them out there.
But sometimes I get inspired, and I just go for it. Sometimes it flies from my mind to my fingers to the canvas and it CLICKS. And sometimes, like this painting, the first try is utter garbage. 
It didn’t get better on the 2nd try. Or the 3rd. Or the 4th. I couldn’t look at it… and I started to do the artist panic thing where I start thinking I’m going into a creative block.
And I do not have the time for a creative block. 
My husband is a baseball fanatic, so with baseball season upon us that’s pretty much all we’ve been watching. At one point I’m watching a game with Ed and I start thinking about the movie, “For The Love of The Game”- the baseball movie with Kevin Costner and Kelly Preston (it’s one of my favorite movies— I cry every time).
Kevin Costner plays a major league pitcher who’s pitching the perfect game— and in order to focus, he does this mental exercise that drowns out all the noise.
I realized that’s what I needed to do with this painting— I need to bring the focus into what I love, and get rid of the rest.
And so I did. And I made new marks that I’m obsessed with. And a tons-of-color-that’s-been/white-washed look that I want to keep painting again and again. 
This is a painting about priorities, on focusing on what you love, and drowning out the rest.